Sean is gone. He's gone for two and a half weeks and it's only been 8 days! It's been a rough 8 days though. I'm not sure if there's a spiritual attack, but that's sure what it feels like. Here's a sampling of what the week has looked like emotionally:
Tuesday: While waiting at the tire store to get our flat tire fixed, A. looks up at me and says, "Mommy, being with you is like being in Heaven. Being here with you and Daddy is probably just what Heaven is like."
Thursday: While amidst a meltdown A. says, "I HATE YOU MOMMY!"
Both events make me want to cry. We worked through the last issue, but it still hurt. This whole week has seemed to hurt. I miss my husband. I miss him terribly. The girls miss their Daddy. We even had to spend Father's Day without him. I even just seeing my own Daddy around because he has to work all the time :-( However, it was a good reminder that we are here to celebrate the love of our Heavenly Father. Our Father who never leaves us nor forsakes us.
I have to begin to rejoice in the small battles we do win. T. is becoming more verbal with her emotions, and she's sometimes sharing on her own! She graduated preschool, can write her own name, is coloring awesomely in the lines, plays with other kids when she wants to, learned to ride a bike in five minutes, and more! A. has the sweetest, most generous heart, loves so deeply, is the best big sister, is compassionate, has calmed down immensely, is a genius, and eats new foods! Abby sometimes sleeps through the night (ha), is sometimes potty trained (another ha!), loves cuddling with T., thanks Jesus for everything she sees and every time we get up the driveway, and sings herself to sleep with 'Jesus Loves Me'.
I need to shout it from the mountaintops when we have big victories. T. gave her life to Christ at VBS!!!!!! Can you believe it!!!!!! Praise God! (Even satan tried to steal that victory, but I claim life over her!). A., awhile back, got baptized!!!!! Aren't those the ultimate victories? Everything else is just a wash. At the time it certainly doesn't feel that way, but I need to remember that we are here to pour Christ's love into these girls. I am a deeply flawed woman and mommy and wife. I don't know why God gave these girls to us, but they truly are my heart and song. They bring such joy. If only I could show you their sweet, beautiful faces, you would understand. But for now you get to see their beautiful hair :-) These girls already exude Christ's love, and that is the true miracle in all of this.
These are the girls we get to pour into. These are the girls who are the light of our lives. Thank you God for giving them to us right now.