A Letter to T

My awesome sister, Beth, blogs. If you don't read her blog, you should start. She's pretty amazing and very well spoken/written. She has inspired me to begin writing a letter to my children. She has done quite a few and they're beautifully sentimental. I have this ideal world that I won't forget any moments with my children, good or bad. That my brain will remember it all. However, I am already forgetting simple things that were so "monumental" during Abby's first year of life.
So, I will begin writing letters to my kiddos.

My first is to my beautiful five year old, T. She begins kindergarten on Wednesday, and I'm nervous, but excited for her. We went to her "Back To School" night last night and got a whole slew of paperwork to fill out. One was a sheet asking me to tell the teacher all about her. I love that I was forced to sit down and think about so many different things concerning just T. We fill out so much paperwork on these girls that I get lost in completing the task. But this time, I got to stop and think about this precious daughter of mine.

To my T.,

I am so blessed and honored to be your mama right now. You are determined and dedicated. Fragile and faithful. When you are encouraged and praised you keep trying until you finish and master it. We bought you a bike for finishing preschool and within five minutes you were riding with no training wheels, no help, no reserve. Your feet don't even touch the ground, but that doesn't deter you from riding it.

You are the best little mommy, and Abby just adores you. Abby may be naughty sometimes, ok, a lot, but I think she would be completely heartbroken without her big sister/mommy. There are way too many times when Abby cries out, "Mommy!" to receive my, "Yes Abby." Only to be returned by, "No, you not my mommy. T is my mommy!!!" You're kind, compassionate, and so loving towards her.

You are mommy's little helper and cell phone finder. I can always count on you to be more than willing to jump on a task that I ask of you. You're constantly looking for ways to receive praise, and I fail you too often by not giving you that praise, but you still help and do awesome things none-the-less.

You are Daddy's little girl. From the moment we got you, you wouldn't let go of him. Wanting to be held, wanting to hold hands, wanting to sit on his lap for stories and prayer. I sometimes feel as though you would trade me for Daddy any day, but I know you need me and love me too ;-)

I even think you sometimes have a lot of my genes. You take criticism really hard, are willing to eat anything for a treat, and love putting Leo, the cat, in a stroller for a walk. All summer long you have been asking to ride a horse. Did you know that I have a deep sense of love for horses? Nanny and Pa even let me have horseback riding lessons during middle and high school. Pa grew up above a barn for awhile and even Great Grandma Carol has worked with horses almost her entire life. It's in our blood. AND... for our mother/daughter date I knew exactly what you and I should do. Go riding! I think you were in Heaven.

T, I know you have so much to overcome and that there are hurdles that seem like mountains that you'll have to jump over. But I've already seen you do so much. You came to us not recognizing any of the alphabet, not knowing how to write your name, not drawing in the lines, having nightmares, not looking me in the eye or telling me you love me. Now, now you know the entire alphabet, write your name, color pictures, button your jammies, brush your hair, have sweet dreams, ride a bike, love me, and most importantly love Jesus and tell others how He now lives in your heart. You even say that when you grow up you want to be a Ballerina Missionary. Are you just the cutest thing??

I so desperately want Jesus to let me be your forever mommy, but I know He loves you so much more than I do. That you are His little princess, now and always. That He will be by your side when I am and when I'm not. 

You have a beautiful heart that you are so careful to guard and keep safe. I am so honored that you have chosen to share some of it with me. I promise you that I will do my best, and prayerfully even better at taking care of it for as long as I can. There is more to you than you know. You will be the light and appearance of God like you've never known or expected.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your life right now. I love you dear T.

Love,

Mommy

P.S. If you want to be apart of little girls and boys like T, you can donate to our agency that helps hundreds of foster and adoptive kids here.